You're gonna lose that Cat
by IsaacHayessoulgirl
Summary: Has Ren finally pushed Stimpy to far with his selfishness? HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! :D
1. Chapter 1

**You're Gonna lose that Cat**

**(A/N:) This is a **_**really **_**special Valentine's Day story. I hope you enjoy! And P.S., The title is a Beatles reference to **_**You're Gonna Lose That Girl.**_

**Chapter 1: A night on the Town**

The beloved couple strolled through town on a chilly February night. It was a week before Valentine's Day. Ren walked through the town in a leather jacket. Stimpy sheepishly walked behind him holding onto Ren's waist for dear life. "I'm scared, Ren."

"Eh, shut up."

"And I'm cold!"

"Do you only theenk about yerself?"

"I'm sorry, Ren." He hung his head in shame. "You should be. And don't worry. Eet's perfectly safe" As he spoke, there were two men holding guns up to each other, crashed cars, a dead body in the alley, and two hookers. "Okay, Ren! I trust your judgment. You've _never _led me wrong!"

"That's right. Now just keep walking."

**Three hours later…**

"Ren, I think I'm getting hypothermia! And why are we out here, anyway?"

"I dunno! Ask my feest!"

"But honey-" Ren lost his patience and ripped Stimpy's mouth off… literally. "Mpfh mpfh! MPFH MPFH MPFH!" Sounding like Kenny, Stimpy felt around his face frantically. Ren held Stimpy's mouth up and looked him in the lips (rather than the eyes.) "You got something to say?" In an extremely high-pitched voice, Stimpy's mouth answered, "No."

"That's what I thought. Hmph."

"Ren, when we go home, can we _please _watch our movie?"

"Alright. We can watch _Knotted."_

"You mean _Tangled?"_

"Yeah, whatever. And Steempy, trust me, pet, you need thees walk."

"Because you're sloppy, underdressed, immature, and clumsy. Please, they'll eat you up alive!"

"Can you please put my mouth back on my face, Ren?"

"Yeah, sure. And I guess we'll go home." He slapped Stimpy's mouth back on his face. "Yoj ho!" (oh joy backwards.) "Oh, crap! I put eet on backwards!" He fixed his mouth. "Phew! Thank you, Ren." He kissed his head. "Okay, okay, enough sap! Let's go."

Stimpy sat in bed, warming up. He had the DVD player all set. Ren came out of his shower. He was in his underwear, and he flopped down. "Boy, I'm beat. Good night, styoopid."

"But Ren, you promised we'd watch _Tangled!"_

"Tomorrow. Promise." Stimpy sighed and went to sleep, some tears in his eyes.

**(A/N): Well, there you have it! Ren's a dick. And may I say that **_**Tangled **_**is the best movie **_**ever **_**and that I'd cry if I didn't get to watch it XD I hope you caught the millions of references to it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N): Well, have I proven my theory that Ren is a total jackass? If not, keep reading! **

**Chapter 2: Lack of Communication **

Ren woke up one morning, bags under his eyes. "Time for another dreaded day of work," He groaned. He started out the door when he heard footsteps. "Oh, great. The eediot's up." Sure enough, Stimpy came rushing over to him. "Uh, Ren?" He said modestly but eagerly. "What do _you _want? Shouldn't you be een bed?"

"No, I'm always up early!"

"Great. Now shut up before I'm late for work."

"But Re-en!..."

"Yeeeeeees?" He growled in a psychotic tone. "Can'chou at least kiss me before you go to work? Ya know, like we used to do? We haven't done it in a while!"

"How's _thees _workfor ya?" He punched Stimpy in the face, causing him to tear. "Ren, please…" He begged softly. "Oh, crap! I'm gonna be late! That's eet! One more screw-up like thees and I get the funnel!" Stimpy gulped. Ren rolled his eyes and stomped out the door.

Stimoy sat on the couch, wiping tears with his arm. "What's wrong with Ren?" He wondered out loud. "He's _never _mean to me! I guess we're not communicating. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?" He bawled. "I'm a failure as a lover!" He smiled slightly and wiped his tears again. "But tomorrow's Valentine's Day! I'll make sure it's the best one yet!"


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N): Here's where things go wrong…**

**Chapter 3: Party Now, Romance Later**

It was Valentine's Day… well, it was night, but you get the idea. Stimpy decorated the kitchen with hearts. He had the table set up with nice plates, he had good food cooking in the oven, and he even had the good toilet seats set up! A devil appeared on his one shoulder. "He's not showin' up, ya know."

"Duh, what was that?"

"Ren's not showing up!"

"Of course he is! It's Valentine's Day, and he promised!"

"He promises a lotta things, but has he stuck by any of them?"

"Well, not lately, but-"

"Exactly."

"Look, as much as I enjoy the company, I prefer you not spread yer pessimism! And isn't there supposed to be an angel?" At that moment, an emo angel appeared on his shoulder. Stimpy raised an eyebrow. "Hey… where's you lovely white robe? And-and halo?"

"I went emo after I found out Ren's not coming tonight." He sighed. "Ren is too showing up!" Stimpy protested, losing his patience. "I-I can't believe part of me is this pessimistic!"

"Whatever," Said the emo angel. "So you wanna like, get a pizza and do other crap?"

"Hellz, yeah!" Said the devil. And they poofed away. "Huh. How could they? Ren's gonna show up tonight! He has to!"

Ren pulled up into a driveway and burst into a house. "HEY, PARTY PEOPLE!"

"Oh, fuck yeah! Hoek's here! _Now _it's a party! How's about a beer?"

"Heet me up, man!" The man tossed him a beer. Ren chugged it down in a matter of seconds. "Ah!"

"Still the champion!" Everyone cheered. Ren had a _very _proud look on his face.

Stimpy sat at the table… alone. The food was cold and Stimpy's stomach was growling. He looked at the clock. It was eight o'clock. "THAT'S IT!" He ate everything on the table in one gulp like Patrick Star. "I'm sick of Ren!" There was no way in Hell he could possibly hold back his tears of anger. He burst out bawling.

Ren slowly opened his eyes to the feeling of someone shaking him. "Hey! Ren! Wake the fuck up!"

"Wha-…?" He was lying on a huge-ass pile of beer cans. "You heard me! Now get'cher bony, hung over ass home! It's five in the morning!"

"Oh, yeah. I should get home to Skeempy. We're supposed to have our Valentine's Day deener tonight."

"But Valentine's Day was yesterday!"

"WHAT!" He ran outside into the car and drove home… FAST.

He ran up to the house and found a note:

_**Ren, I've left home… for good this time. You've broken my heart too many times and ruined my Valentine's Day. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. I'll always love you, but I think we have to move on.**_

_**P.S. I ate all our leftover Mexican food.**_

_**Sighned, Stimpy**_

"Oh my God! Hees spelling and grammar ees atrocious! How do you spell signed wrong? Eeediot. And that was my Mexican food! Who needs 'im?" He stomped inside.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Gone with the Snow**

Stimpy sheepishly knocked at the door of a new household because I said so. And guess who opened the door!

"Hi, Sven," Stimpy said sadly. "Ren broke my heart and- well, can I live here?"

"Ja! They walked in together. For the first time in a while, Stimpy grinned. They sat on the couch and watched cartoons, laughing hysterically. "Hey, ya know, I like this country better! I fergot all about Rem! Or Ren…"

"Who cares?" Sven shrugged. "Exactly, lodge brother Sven!" They hugged.

Ren sat at home for days, trying to ignore his want for Stimpy's company. Finally, he snapped. "I CAN'T TAKE EET! But I can't go back to Steempy! He'll think I'm a total wuss!" But everywhere he looked, Stimpy was there… in pictures. He looked at their portraits. "Hmpfh!" He got impatient and took down every picture… which was a lot. "A-ha! Only one more." This last one happened to be the one at his bedside. "Oh, how cute. The eediot wrote on it." He picked up the picture and read the message:

_**Dear Ren, love you forever! Duh, I know we'll have the happiest and long-lasting relation we dreamed of!**_

_**-Stimpy**_

Ren burst into tears. "That's eet! On thees night, no matter what the condition, I well go find

STEEMPY! See? I said 'Steempy!' I got hees name right that time." He put on a heavy coat and other winter clothing and stepped outside. "Hey, eet's not bad out! Eet's not even snow-" A random, roaring blizzard just came out of nowhere. "Oh, crap."

He struggled to walk through the snow. He couldn't take the cold, and he fainted. "Hey, wake up, Ren!

"Jess? You're a fairy now?"

"Yep**! **I'm yer writer, and it's my job to help you live!"

"You're-you're helping me?"

"Mm-hmm! This one time, _got it?"_

"Okay, okay! Where's Steempy?"

"I'm dressed like a fairy fer a reason! I'm gonna poof you to his location! 'BYE!"

He ended up in front of a familiar home. "Sven's house? How cliché."


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N): This is, unfortunately, the last chapter. But there'll be more to come! Thank you for reading!**

**Chapter 5: Stay a While**

Ren gently knocked on the door. From inside the house, you could hear the sounds of polka music and glass breaking. Sven answered the door. As soon as he saw it was Ren, his pupils shrunk. Things got quiet until he started screaming. Ren tried to talk over him softly. "Sven, c'mon. Yoo hoo! Cousin! Sven! SHUT UP!" Sven obeyed. "Thank you, eediot. Let's cut the crap and get to the chase. I'm here for Steempy."

"Dah, he does not want to see you." Ren's frown increased. "Wow. Maybe you're not as styoopid as I remember. But seriously, I wanna see Steempy and apologize."

"What's goin' on, buddy?" Stimpy walked over. "Ren? How'd you even get here?"

"Okay, let's not go eento that, as I'm about to freeze to death."

"Just go away, Ren! And don't think I'm coming home! Ren?" Ren had a dazed look in his eye. "I don't feel well…" And he fainted. Sven and Stimpy looked at each other in horror.

They wrapped him in blankets. "He's got hypothermia!" Cried Stimpy. "This should help him!" Sven poured boiling water on his face. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He jumped in anger. "You two…." He gave them the bony finger. He sat up. "Look, Steempy, _please _take me back! We can't end eet now! We promeesed the crowd more fan feecs!"

"No, Ren. Sven and I already called Fox. We wanna get a show on Animation Domination. We may get _The Cleveland Show _cancelled!"

"Oh my god, really?" He sounded cheerful, but was clearly still depressed. The phone rang. "Duh, I will get it!" Stimpy leaped like a ballerina over to the phone. "Hello? Uh-huh. Oh, really? Dang. Thanks anyway. Bad news, group." (_Fritz The Cat _reference!) "…We didn't make it. Cleveland's _still _going strong."

"Aw."

"Dammeet! How do people watch that crap?"

"I dunno!" Sven started crying. "Now I have to watch that on Sundays!"

"Does that mean you'll come back?" Ren beamed. "No means no, Ren!" There was now an inside view of Ren's miniscule, dried up hear. It started pounding. His brain said 'Stress.' On the outside, he fainted.

"Oh, not again!" Stimpy burst into tears, and Sven did the same. Stimpy kneeled down next to Ren. "Oh my god, if you make it out of this, I PROMISE we'll be together again! I love you to pieces and I'm SO SO SORRY!" His cries were now even louder. Ren magically sat up. "R-really?"

"Yupsies!" (Sorry! My sister's friend says that!) They hugged. "I love you, Steempy!"

"I love you too, Ren!"

"Let's go home!" They held hands and went to walk out the door, until Stimpy noticed that Sven was tearing slightly. "Um, Ren?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we stay here? The snow's gonna be here for at least a few days!"

"Oh, I gotcha!" They all got in a group hug.

So that night, the trio chatted, drank hot chocolate, played accordion, and of course, put a child block on _The Cleveland Show._

**Stay tuned for **_**Commentary with the Stars!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Commentary with the Stars**

**Stimpy, Sven, Ren and Jess (me, the writer) are all in chairs.**

**Jess: **So, did everyone have fun?

**Sven: **Ja!

**Stimpy, suggestively: **Yuh-huh… ***Grabs Ren's hand***

**Ren: **Oh, baby!

**Jess**: Ren!

**Ren**: Hmm?

**Jess: **Did'jou have fun or not?

**Ren: **Well, I guess… but I'm about to have even_ more_fun! ***Puts his hand near Stimpy's crotch and giggles suggestively.***

**Stimpy: **Ooh, Ren!

**Ren & Stimpy: *Rip their fur off***

**Jess and Sven: *Stare in disgust* **LET'S GET OUTTA HERE! ***Run away***

**Thank you and happy Valentine's Day! ;D**


End file.
